Crushing Hard? How to Ground Yourself Before You Spiral Into Fantasy

So You’re Spiraling Over Someone…

You saw them. You felt something. Your brain short-circuited and now you’re three imaginary dates, two fake conversations, and a whole Pinterest board deep.

Congrats. You’re officially crushing.

Now let’s talk about how to ground yourself before this turns into a full-blown emotional projection fantasy with a cast of supporting characters your crush doesn’t even know they’ve been assigned.

Why Do We Lose Our Chill When We Like Someone?

Because something about them is lighting up a part of you that wants something — attention, intimacy, validation, connection, excitement, a fresh story to latch onto. That’s not bad. That’s just human.

But when the fantasy starts to feel more real than reality, you’re no longer crushing — you’re creating a mental relationship they didn’t agree to be in.

And when that happens, you lose touch with yourself.

So let’s bring you back.

✨ If this feels familiar, you might love this article on why we get nervous around our crushes — it goes deeper into the body-mind spiral and how to break it with presence.

Grounding Strategy #1: The Dark Realism Reset

(Yes, it’s extreme. And yes, it works. For me at least.)

Let’s say you’re putting them on a pedestal.

You’ve convinced yourself they’re flawless. Untouchable. Some kind of divine being sent to awaken your heart.

Here’s how to bring yourself right back to earth:

Remind yourself that this person is a sack of flesh and organs just like you.

Now go darker.

This person has feces inside their body right now. Their poop probably smells worse than yours. One day, their body will rot. It will smell. It will collapse into a skeleton and eventually become dust.

Their nice hair and sparkly eyes? They’ll fall out, dry up, decompose. The eyes will cave in. The scalp will flake. Nothing about them will be left except a trace of carbon in the soil.

Still wanna keep romanticizing a future bone-dried skeleton?

This is not about being mean or cynical. It’s about removing the illusion of perfection and reminding yourself that this person is just as breakable, mortal, messy, and temporary as everyone else.

If your crush still feels hot after you’ve imagined their decomposing corpse… you’ve got it bad.

Grounding Strategy #2: The Gentle Version (For When You Don’t Want to Picture a Corpse)

Take a deep breath.

Now try this:

• Place your hand on your chest. Feel it rise and fall.

• Say: “I’m here. I’m okay. This is just a feeling.”

• Name five things around you — the color of the wall, the sound in the background, the temperature on your skin.

• Remind yourself: “Attraction isn’t a prophecy. It’s just a sensation.”

You don’t have to stop liking them. You just have to stop treating your feelings like they’re proof of destiny.

Grounding Strategy #3: Anchor Into You

Sometimes when we crush hard, we stop thinking about ourselves. Everything becomes about them:

• When will they text?

• What do they think of me?

• What did that smile mean?

Flip it.

Ask:

• How do I feel when I’m around them?

• Do I like how I show up in their presence?

• Can I be myself, or do I start performing?

Bring the focus back to your experience — not theirs. That’s how you stay in your body.

Grounding Strategy #4: Humor Yourself

Laughter neutralizes shame. So go ahead and name the spiral:

• “Okay wow, I just imagined us grocery shopping together. And I don’t even know his last name.”

• “I’m literally acting like I’m in an A24 romantic slow burn and we haven’t even had a conversation.”

Call it out. With love. This breaks the spell without mocking your own heart.

Grounding Strategy #5: Move Your Body, Not Your Mind

Sometimes the crush spiral isn’t emotional. It’s energetic.

When attraction builds, your body is storing that charge. And if you don’t release it? You loop.

So:

• Go for a walk.

• Dance in your room.

• Go to the gym and lift heavy things while blasting moody music.

• Literally shake your hands out.

Let your body metabolize the feeling. Otherwise, your brain will try to do it for you, and that usually ends with you interpreting eye contact as a soulmate contract.

Final Note: You’re Not Silly for Feeling This

Crushing hard doesn’t mean you’re weak. Or delusional. Or needy. It means you’re alive. Your nervous system got lit up. Something stirred. Something woke up.

The key is staying anchored in yourself, while still allowing the thrill.

Let yourself feel it. Just don’t float away in it.

TL;DR: How to Ground Yourself When You’re Crushing Hard

• Remind yourself: this person is just a person (and yes, they poop too)

• Get back in your body — breathe, move, feel

• Shift the focus back to your own experience

• Don’t shame the fantasy, but don’t live there either

• You’re allowed to feel lit up without turning it into a future

Because no matter how magnetic someone feels, you are still the center of your own life.